Calm and cool. Really, really cool.

I'm in that old, familiar place again.  Every time it rolls around, I find myself with all these excuses - hormones, specifically PMS, boredom, exhaustion, stress.  But as it turns out, I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't just that I am fundamentally lazy.

I had a test this morning, right?  A long one.  Kind of an important one - first go, NCLEX predictor.  I did well.  I am confident that with some serious study in the next four weeks, passing my boards will not be a problem.  So I can get a real job and stop eating cupcakes for a living.  In light of this accomplishment, which really took very little effort on my part, I just...came home.  Did one of the two remaining assignments standing between myself and graduation (it took...a half hour?  Sitting in front of Grey's Anatomy season 4, sitting next to a Bud Light).  And I have been on this couch ever since.  Despite the fact that the sink is full of dirty dishes, and the guest room is full of dog dirt and old books and scattered DVDs and Zach's old clothes.  Despite the fact that Amanda's sister will be here in two days, and she'll probably want to like, sleep in a bed.

I tell myself over and over again that it's the house.  In some ways, I think that's true.  Maybe here one day soon, when I am a nurse and we have some semblance of reliable income, Zach and I can move into a different place.  A better place.  A place with floors that can be swept, and counted on to stay that way for more than 15 minutes.  I'm just so freaking tired of fighting with the dirty ductwork, and the dirty nasty doghair furniture, and all of the messes that rebuild themselves from the front even as we're tearing down their back ends.

So my fundamental laziness could just be a symptom of an intense need to start over.  Blank slate, white walls, no wads of hair in the intake grates.  New house.  Clean house.  House without holes in the kitchen ceiling that drip water every time you shower.  Or it could be a symptom of - get this - fundamental laziness.  I really like sitting on this (dirty stinky doghair) couch, comfortably sandwiched between a can of Bud Light and the remote control that opens streaming Netflix.  Earlier this afternoon, Caeser fell asleep on top of the box of pizza I'd ordered and been picking at for hours, and we just took up comfortable space together, old buddies and comrades in inertia.  Sure, he's a cat, but who's counting right now?

The point is, there are so many things to do.  And not just things that need to be done, or things that I have to do (those really are getting fewer and further between now that school is winding to a close).  But things that I would like to do - craft projects gone dusty in the little white cabinet, things like that (I'm having trouble thinking of other examples at this moment, owing probably to the two beers and the sleepy stumbling of sloth).  I just never find it necessary to make them happen, not anymore.

I think this will go away.  I think, with time, I'll recoup.  I'll have a career, I'll have the kind of free time that comes from suddenly not being in school after 23 straight years of school, I'll have some semblance of expendable income.  Which, to be fair, will likely be spent much as I spend what little expendable income I have right now - on beer and good food during nights out with my favorite people.  I think maybe I'll just always be this girl.  I'll never have the charmed life with the nicely oriented facebook photos that make everyone else jealous, because I'd rather laze about in bed for three hours on Sunday morning than dust my baseboards (which, hey, wouldn't need to be dusted nearly as often if I didn't live in this charming crap pile of a rental house).

I just wonder - is this a common dilemma?  Do all ya'll's feel lazy too?